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Sunday, September 16, 2007

10 Things I Learnt From Grad School

Just a meaningless clichéd filler post. [Poll Closed.]

1. Intelligence is not a pre-req for getting into grad school.
2. Other people know how to use gawk too.
3. I'm not the only geek loser out there. In fact there are worse.
4. You can survive a week on just instant noodles. Easily.
5. You cannot survive a week on just raw noodles. No, not even with ketchup.
6. Grad students can live decently too. No wait!! They can't. My bad.
7. Mathematically, I will never get laid. (More on this later)
8. Laptop + Google = Weekend well spent.
9. Common sense * N = K, where N is the # of degrees you have and K is a (pretty small) constant.
10. There is no spoon.

[Update: This comment was just so cool that i HAD to promote it up here...]

Things Naman learnt from grad school:

11. There is no fork either.
12. The rate at which you eat your noodles is directly proportional to the people sitting near you.
13. You can never really figure things out if you use figures.
14. A hundred days and nights are shorter than a moment.
15. As you lose yourself, you lose the will to find yourself, so its okay.
16. No matter where you go or who you meet, you are still the person you were when you were
17. Girls define life.
18. Every girl is an angel, and every girl is a perfect bitch. What you do with them is up to you.
19. Nineteen is a good year in life.
20. Twenty20 is the best thing that happened to cricket.

[Another update. Conclusion: Spontaneous lists wayyyyyy better than made up lists. ]

Ten things Shreya learnt from grad school:

Few things I learnt while in school – some pertaining to school and some not !

21. There actually is a fork, depends on which fork we are talking about !
22. Satyam, we are just geeks- not losers 
23. Intelligence might not be a pre-req for grad school, but knowledge is.
24. Grad students (speaking for myself) go to the gym even at midnight because that actually is still a day for them….and then some more !
25. Weekends are worse because you have all day to yourself to study and clean , UGH !
26. Some worldly things, I am tired of hearing about Iraqi suicide car bombings…
27. “The hills” on mtv gets way too much importance
28. On that note, I miss watching tv and I cannot keep up with the news.
29. Guys are always interested in getting laid…gentlemen wait and assholes want to get right inside your pants; hence always interested…just depends on when.
30. Conclusion, no social life + work 24/7 + crappy food + compromises= grad school / life :)

[Update: Yet another set of insightful observations...]

Some more thing Naman learnt from grad school (or otherwise):

31. There are actually so few things a grad school teaches you, that you actually feel the need to make this list go on and on and on.
32. Gentlemen also do want to get laid every chance they get.
33. Time is always against those who are in grad school.
34. Time is always against you even after grad school.
35. Nobody's got long to live, time is indeed too short.
36. Working out defines life better than girls do.
37. Prince of Persia Sands of Time can be finished in one sitting.
38. There may be better things in the world than Quake, but very very few.
39. God's name is Murphy.
40. Making out, sometimes, is a lot of work.

Things Deepikaji learnt from grad school:

41. The time scale for a grad student is not the same as for the rest of the world.
42. The amount of money in your savings bank account is inversely proportional to the number of years you have been in grad school.
43. The Taiwanese make the best grad students - they have rich parents, little creativity and a new car.
44. Indians just make/do/are whatever.
45. The most important training you will receive in grad school is to heighten your sense of detecting free food.
46. Its not called a beer belly anymore, its now called grad belly.
47. Grad bellies are not suitable for being shaken like bowl full of jelly.
48. Grad school is not about productivity. In the morning (approximately 13:00) you think you will get to work after checking email. By the time you are done its time for lunch (approximately 18:00).
49. Gawking at the (opposite) sex is an occupational hazard of being a grad student. Don't ask why or how, just gawk.
50. When you have a toothbrush on your lab desk, you must realize that it will be use for more than brushing just your teeth.

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